Case of the Mondays...

It happens to the best of us, even those who love their jobs, or at least can tolerate what they do each day from 9-5. Every once in a while Monday hits like a ton of bricks, quashing any latent serotonin residuals from the weekend and slapping you in the face with the reality of the 5 consecutive days of proletariat life ahead. It does not always happen on Mondays, if you're lucky you make it to Wednesday before your spirit is broken or you just plain run out of sh*ts to give.

I don't think it is about being miserable or chronically discontent, I'm neither of these. You see, even in the best of times, I've been known to catch a case....

Today was a prime example... and I should have seen it coming. A Sunday spent lounging rooftop poolside, sipping peach white wine spritzers with two girlfriends (marred only by a rather unsavory locker room encounter - story for another time) followed by more wine and a little too much ice cream at dinner at my Grandmother's house meant two things: heartburn and a comically uneven first sunburn of the season.

The combination of my physical ailments and the emotional strain of P and Harry being out of town made for a near sleepless night. I tossed and turned, suffering through a dream sequence that felt more like a high schooler’s Instagram feed - warped images, wonky colors, and no comprehensible aesthetic or narrative message - I awoke nauseated and confused.

The lack of rest made quick work of my idealistic (and admittedly uncharacteristic) after-work gym plans and the hot Baltimore rain dissolved any hope I had of a pleasant waterside walk to work. Even my wardrobe selection the night before did me no favors, red gingham and sunburn are not a good look.

By the time I walked out the door it was Monday 5, Chris 0...I'll spare you the excruciating work day details (no one likes a complainer) as I'm sure everyone has had their own struggles today, but let’s just say, I walked home a broken, rain soaked man.

Now let’s get to the point. This post is not a woe-is-me attempt to wallow in what I know is not such a bad day in the grand scheme of things... No, this post is about food and beating a case of the Mondays the epicurean way.

I know what you're thinking, and this isn't an "eating my feelings" episode either - that was Friday night after dropping P and Harry at the airport. Dinner tonight was a turning point, an adventure in the kitchen and a catalyst for saving the day, the evening and hopefully the week ahead.

Over the weekend I had the good fortune to receive the most thoughtful gift from a college friend who has since moved out of town but thankfully finds this blog palatable. Her family owns an olive oil and vinegar purveyor in various locations throughout New York state called The Crushed Olive. So, thinking of our culinary exploits, she so generously sent us a pack of several varieties of their product, oil infusions and aged balsamic in mouthwatering varieties, think eureka lemon, white truffle, or fig. I can only hope our usage can do her compliments and generosity justice.

I chose for this evening, a Harissa infused olive oil as the flavor impetus for my dish. Now I've got plenty of new flavor profiles to explore with this gift pack, but I needed a kick in the butt with the day I had, so Harissa fit the bill. Harrssa is a North African flavoring paste, made of several types of hot peppers (piri piri being the most traditional), as well as a spice combination that typically includes coriander, caraway and garlic. This vibrant red concoction lends a deep and sultry heat to the cuisine of countless Middle Eastern and North African nations and has even found its way into the Arab-rooted food in contemporary Germany and France. The eye catching color and the slow burn it promised in any dish I attempted, was enough to get my gears going and my head was already in a different place. I made a quick call to invite a neighbor who I knew was having her own struggle that day and I headed to the kitchen.

I worked with what I had. I knew harissa lends itself especially well to gamey meats like lamb or goat, and can be particularly good when working with challenging vegetable likes eggplant. I had neither of these on hand, however, so I opted for pork tenderloin and a risotto base. Beginning with the visual, I thought a creamy white Arborio risotto, studded with slightly charred cauliflower florets, would be a striking back drop to a dramatic harissa oil drizzle. The stage set, I decided to impart as much depth to the pork as possible. I marinated the tenderloin in a combination of harissa oil, sweetly aromatic cardamom, savory cumin, and added paprika for even more punch of color. I hoped the spices would take well to a slight char on the grill and play well in juxtaposition to the creamy risotto with just a squeeze of lime to brighten everything up.

The result, despite being my first foray into the world of North African inspired cuisine, was a resounding success. My neighbor and I forgot all about the troubles of the Monday and not so gracefully made quick work of our beautiful dish (if I don’t say so myself). I am excited to recreate and potentially augment the dish when P is back in town, and I expect harissa and its unique bite will become a staple in our kitchen.

So rather than a rant on the horrors of Mondays, let this post be instead a celebration of my escape from doom and gloom. This is my way of expressing my appreciation for the way cooking and eating offer refuge and respite in hard times, while also elevating and enriching already wonderful moments. I turn to food when I am inspired or when I need inspiration. It is both my creative outlet and my light in the dark.

This 20-something proletariat life can be tough, and I'm lucky I found my way to make the best of it…or at least survive a Monday.

Harissa-Cumin-Cardamom Crusted Pork Tenderloin 

w/ Cauliflower Studded Risotto.

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup Arborio risotto
• 1 1/2 lbs pork tenderloin
• 1 medium white onion - diced
• 2 cloves of garlic - minced
• 1 head of cauliflower, cut into 1in cube florets
• 4 tablespoons evoo
• 1/2 tablespoon ground cardamom
• 1/2 tablespoon paprika
• 1/2 tablespoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
• 2 table spoons harissa infused evoo + 1 tablespoon for drizzle
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

• Combine 2 table spoons evoo, cardamom, cumin, cayenne and harissa oil in plastic bag and marinate pork for at least an hour at room temp
• Pre-heat oven to 400F, toss cauliflower florets in evoo, salt and pepper. Place on foil lined cooking sheet and roast for 25 mins until they begin to brown
• Meanwhile, sweat onion and garlic in 2 tablespoons evoo until onions are translucent, add risotti and toast, about 3 mins
• Slowly add water, 1 cup at a time, letting the water cook down and stirring often until risotto is rich, creamy and tender
• All the while, heat grill and grill pork, 10 mins on each side until medium rare
• This should all come together at the same time, if it doesn't, make sure you've had enough wine so that you have an excuse.
• Once risotti is tender, add the cauliflower stir in any additional salt or pepper you like.
• Plate risotto as the base of the platter, and slice the pork about 1/2 in thick, fanning it our over the risotto
• Drizzle harissa infused evoo over top for color and a little more bite

Meat Dreams are Made of This...

Sometimes you just have a craving for meat, and for me, it’s usually at the most inopportune moments….I know what you’re thinking, and no this blog is not going that direction (sorry to anyone who’s disappointed)

The carniverous mood struck me the other day as I was perusing the latest facebook and instagram updates from Bon Appetit, Savuer and the like on my phone. It’s a terrible thing, to steal a quick glance at your phone in the middle of the work day, only to be met with mouthwatering images of food you only dream of enjoying as you think about trudging through the mind numbing hours ahead… Miserable - no torture - is how I’d put it, and let me be honest, when I say quick glances, I mean neurotic, often frenzied, newsfeed refreshes all day, every day (guilty!).

Enough about my productivity issues, the point is, I take a lot of inspiration for our weekly dinners from my iPhone assisted, work-day-dreaming. Once I get past the initial frustrating reality that I can’t simply quit my job and cook all day, the time spent in the office allows me plenty of opportunity to mull over how I might augment or enrich the dishes when I am finally able to make my attempt. I play with spices or potential accoutrements in my head, jotting down ingredients on dozens of post-its that my boss must think are some cryptic to-do list at this point.

As was the case on Monday, when I spotted a simple recipe for grilled romaine salad with bacon and blue cheese. Well, as any sane person would do, given these simple ingredients, I immediately thought of steak. I decided at 9am, I would pull the two gorgeously marbled strips I knew we had in the fridge and do my take on steak and salad, all on the grill. For the remainder of the work day I constructed the rest of the dish, and worried about plating, and how the light might be for the eventual instagram shot.

I think my hours of agonizing over ingredients paid off…the meal was a hit with all the guys in the house, not least of which was Harry, who was practically frothing the moment the bacon started sizzling ! (you had to know he'd get a mention)

I hope you can find some inspiration yourself, and you'd better not be reading this at work....

Strip Steak w/ Grilled Romaine Salad, 

Blue Cheese Bacon Vinaigrette & Cayenne Candied Bacon

Ingredients:

• 2 Strip steaks, brought to room temperature and seasoned with salt and pepper
• 1 head of romaine
• 1 Cup crumbled blue cheese
• 1 lb thick cut bacon
• 1 tablespoon cayenne
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon molasses
• 1/4 cup white wine vinegar

Directions

• Heat a pan over medium flame, and once hot, place bacon in carefully to avoid splatter, cook bacon, turning over every few minutes
• Combine brown sugar, cayenne, and molasses and add in small amounts as you turn bacon, being sure to coat each slice.
• As you cook the bacon, pour off the fat periodically into a heat safe mug (be very careful this is hot and messy)
• Mean while, season the strip steaks with salt and better, and cut the head of romaine in half.
• When bacon is about 1/2 way done, place lettuce and steaks on the grill. Place lettuce heart down (that's the center).
• Once lettuce begins to show a slight char, remove from heat and place on serving plates.
• Once strips have been turned, combine 1/4 cup reserved bacon drippings with 1/2 cup blue cheese, and 1/4 cup white wine vinegar - whisk together until cheese melts and you have an emulsion.
• At this point the bacon should be done, remove from the pan, let it sit on a paper towel to crisp for a moment or two, then chop into small pieces.
• Your strips steaks should also be done and allowed to rest while you chop the bacon.
• Plate strip steak with charred lettuce, drizzle everything with bacon vinaigrette, and top with the remaining blue cheese crumbles and bacon.

Having an Ina Moment

I know it's pedantic to talk about the weather, but I'm having an Ina moment, and I've got to express my astonishment and delight that we actually seem to be having a bit of a Spring here in Baltimore.

I'll admit it's even been a little chilly in the past week, but we have yet to succumb to to 95F+ days of 100% humidity that turn everyone in Baltimore to a sweaty, grumpy mess and for me, that's reason to party. In typical fashion, and as any Barefoot Contessa devotee would insist, we decided to celebrate the apparent return of Spring to Baltimore's seasonal rotation with a dinner al fresco.

We always try to plan our meals with the season in mind, and make an effort to get as much produce locally from the Farmer's market. Unfortunately, the demands of making a living and the horrifying suburban crowds have recently made the market visits more difficult.

That said, we decided on a dish that is versatile enough to be adapted to fit whatever one can find at the market, super market, or in the depths of the pantry.

This style of preparing the starch can be applied to pasta, risotto or even other grains like farrow. Using carrots, chicken stock, onion, and parmigiano as a base (always available) one can change the protein and additional veggies with abandon and not risk going off base. This dish is a particular household favorite as you should know by now, Harry is addicted to carrots, and we've always got to keep him happy.

We decided to take advantage of one recent warm (and slightly muggy) May evening and enjoy this disk in our increasingly verdant garden. P has a new found and rapidly progressing affinity for rosé, and this dinner offered the perfect opportunity to indulge him. As we marveled at the abundance of Jasmine on the brink of bloom, and lamented the inevitable explosion of our fountain's mosquito population that would soon put dinners like these to bed, we took a moment to enjoy the pleasures of Spring as it should be.

By the time you read this, you'll probably be changing your undershirts twice daily and cursing the utility company even more often, but at least we had this moment! Happy Spring (for now)!


The Wine: Arnot-Roberts, 2012 Rosé 
The Food: Gemelli - Risotto style with fresh sausage, carrots, spring peas, parmigiano & garden chive




Ingredients:

• 8 cups organic chicken stock
• 5 tbsp. butter (I happened to make my own the other night with some excess cream I had hanging around, but go ahead and buy yours)
• 1 medium yellow onion, peeled and chopped
• 1 small shallot, sliced thinly
• 1 lb. gemelli pasta (do not use fresh pasta, it will be soggy in no time and can't stand up to this cooking process)
• 8 medium carrots, peeled, trimmed, and diced
• 1 1/2 cups fresh spring peas
• 1⁄2 cup freshly grated parmigiano-reggiano (let's be real, it was a whole cup)
• 1 pound Italian bulk sausage
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
• 4 fresh chive stems, chopped for garnish

Preparation:

•  Bring stock to a boil in a medium saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to low to keep stock hot.
•  Melt 4 tbsp. of the butter in a medium heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook, stirring until they begin to brown, about 5 minutes. Add carrots and sausage and cook until sausage begins to brown, then add uncooked pasta, cook stirring often, until pasta is lightly toasted, about 5 minutes. If you are using larger pieces of carrots, you may want to start them with the onion. 
• Add 1 cup of the hot stock at a time to the pasta, stirring constantly; wait until almost all the stock has been absorbed before adding more. Continue cooking and adding stock (you may have some stock left over) until pasta is tender but firm to the bite, 10–15 minutes. Add the peas, or whatever other fresh veggies you like about 5 mins before pasta is finished, that way they warm and bring out their flavor but they don't break down too far in the heat. Add slices of shallot toward the end so the retain a but of their bite and crunch.
  
  
• Remove pot from heat and stir in the remaining 1 tbsp. butter and the parmigiano. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Transfer to a warm serving dish and garnish with chive and more cheese.

Saveur adapted this recipe from The Minimalist Cooks Dinner by Mark Bittman (Broadway Books, 2001)

Confessions of a Gyromaniac

Let me preface this post by saying that I may or may not have wrapped up my Saturday night eating French fries off P's plate at 2am in a place called Sip & Bite. Listen, we'd thrown a 12 hr brunch and hit up the bars afterwards, so I think I deserve a little slack. 

Reflecting on my gastronomic indiscretions the next morning, despite my overwhelming remorse, I couldn't stop thinking about the most hallowed of late binge food, and a Sip & Bite staple, the Gyro. 

I don’t care how you say it, the layers of meat, glistening on a spit, then falling light as a feather into warm pita just oozing with tangy tzatziki, oh it's enough to drive me to savagery! I have to admit, I am a gyromaniac.

This succulent sandwich sustained me as a poor college student living abroad in Europe and has stayed with me ever since. P is by no means immune, and the Gyro continues to tempt us from Baltimore diner booths like some kind of salty, greasy forbidden fruit, the power of which only truly reveals itself after midnight. 

Maybe I was still reeling from Saturday night, or just extremely bored at work, but I decided today to try to turn this vice of ours into a virtue of sorts. I set my mind to turn the wanton harlot of the food world into a sophisticated lady, fit for dinner with a couple of discerning gays - Can you say thinly veiled Julia Roberts reference? Aren't you glad I didn't go the allegorical Nathaniel Hawthorn direction (yawn)?

As I am yet without an in-home spit, I settled with the idea of using the grill. Inspired by a recipe from Bon Appetit's Grilling Book I found online, I decided to use pork tenderloin as opposed to the more traditional lamb. I marinated the pork at lunch to coax as much flavor from the meat pre-grill and hit up Fleet Street Market (our local grocer) on the way home for the rest of the comestibles. 

The result?!?! 

Well, I doubt I'll ever really top the sinfully delicious Gyro found at Sip & Bite and the like, but as evidenced by the feverish pace with which we devoured our Pretty Woman version, I'll say we certainly had our Umami moment.

P&C Gyros

Pork

• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup dry red wine
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 small bay leaves, crumbled
• 1/2 tablespoon dry oregano
• 1 tablespoon salt 
• 1 tablespoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
•  1 1-1 ½ lbs pork tenderloin

Sauce

• 1 cup reduced fat Greek yogurt
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• ½ cucumber, finely chopped

Sandwich Fixins

• 2 Medium tomatoes, large chunky pieces
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 pepperoncinos and some peppadews sliced thin (option, ours were leftover from a weekend party)
• 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
• 1 red onion, halved, thinly sliced
• 1 bunch watercress (we LOVE the spicy bite of this green)
• 4 6-in whole wheat pitas

Preparation

For Pork

• Combine first 7 ingredients in large plastic bag, add pork, and shake it up – put in fridge to marinate as long as possible (overnight if you can)
• Grill on med-high heat, 10 mins per side, basting with marinade carefully as it may flare up. Let rest 5 mins before slicing thin.

For Sauce

• Mix yogurt, chopped cucumber, and minced garlic in small bowl

Sandwich Prep

• Mix watercress, red onion, peppadews, and vinegar in a small bowl
• Once pork is done, turn off heat, and put pitas on grill until warmed
• Cut off the top 1/8^th of pita, fill with greens mix, stuff with thinly sliced pork and dress with sauce generously. Add Siracha to taste
• Read More of th inspiration -http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/2006/06/pork_gyros_with_yogurt_tomato_sauce_red_onion_and_arugula#ixzz2THBDXC3I

Brunch - A Survival Guide

Smoked Salmon with Asparagus Ribbons, Radish, and Roe

 My partner P and I love to throw a party - what gay doesn't?! No surprises here, we always enjoy an intimate 3-course dinner with close friends, a costumed Halloween bash, even a bubbly holiday soiree, but what we live for is brunch.

Brunch presents its own unique set of challenges to hosts of any caliber or orientation. The day-time setting means a flexible time frame, so schedule wisely and watch the mimosa intake, you’ll need stamina. It also means no mood lighting or dark corners in which to hide, so don’t forget the BB cream and brush-up on current events. Then there’s the food, is it breakfast, lunch, some awkward straddle dish in between? do your guests have special dietary needs?and what on earth do you serve to keep all your foodie friends from throwing shade? Not least of these challenges is the pressure of expectation. As brunch is pretty much an institution in our culture, if you throw a bad one, they take away your gay card (not kidding)!

All this in mind, we set out last weekend to host our annual spring open house brunch. Through the trials,  tribulations, bumps, and bruises came many lessons learned and this post.

What follows is our 20-something-urban-proletariat Brunch - Survival Guide, if you will. These are the do’s and don’ts, a brief how-to for anyone hoping to host brunch and make it out alive.

Brunch - A Survival Guide

The Guest List

Brunch Flowers

Don’t: 
Invite just anybody. Skip the friend who always bring 4 strangers who sit around, drink too much, talk only to each other and complain about the lack of salsa....we all know that girl....

Do: 
Think outside the box. Do you have a hippie aunt who lives in town and would make great conversation after some Sangria? How about the neighbors with whom you rarely speak but look like they have some juicy off-color stories to tell? Everyone loves an invite and a group setting like brunch, fueled by food and drink, is a gentle way to expand everyone's' social circles. Choose wisely and you could end up with a stimulating social calendar for the rest of the year.

The Food

Don’t: 
 Serve tired traditional brunch items - quiche is over, no one likes stuffed peppers, NEVER serve club crackers or anything that looks like cheese from a parent-teacher conference, and avoid the pre-packaged version of anything you can easily make from scratch. The only thing worse than having leftovers is the talk around town about your store-bought crescent rolls.

Do: 
Choose your menu carefully and make it cohesive. We try to select items that are a nod to the season or a particular cultural culinary tradition, that way it doesn’t matter if they fall more into the breakfast or lunch bucket, they’re always relevant. This time we went with the following menu, think Spring in Italy and you'll get the drift...

- Parmigiano, pancetta, and broccoli raab savory bread pudding
- Polenta cakes & mozzarella w/ rosemary brown butter 
- Arugula, fennel, and orange salad w/ ricotta salata
- Spring pea & spicy lemon spread over grilled crostini
- Smoked Salmon w/ asparagus ribbons, shaved radishes, and roe on pumpernickel points
- P's famous charcuterie and cheese plate (bresaola and a buttery prosciutto always in attendance)
- Grilled cilantro-chimichurri beef tips with Siracha aioli

P's Charcuterie

The Drink:

Don’t: 
Give your guests free reign in your liquor cabinet. Your less inhibited friends will end up making a scene, or worse a mess, and you will run out of provisions before you know it - The ultimate sin for a brunch host.

Do: 
Choose signature cocktail offerings intentionally. This limits the risk of over indulgence due to heavy handed refills, and gives you better inventory control. While we always offer the basic spirits and mixers to more traditional drinkers, this time we chose to start the day with a Bloody Mary bar featuring home made mix (obviously) and various accoutrements including Old Bay shrimp, Seaside cheddar, candied cayenne bacon, and cornichons. For the latter part of the day we changed it up, and switched to mint tea vodka spiked Arnold Palmers. As long as you refrain from going too highbrow or exotic with your ingredients, you will avoid offending anyone’s taste or sensibilities.

Garden Table

The Setting

Don’t: 
Put everything in one place. Drinks, food, flatware, and linens all in one place equal one thing - cattle call, ain't nobody got time for that. 

Do: 
Position hors d’oeurves, cocktails, and hot items in various locations throughout your home. Especially if you live in a small urban space like ours, it’s important to keep people moving and avoid congestion. Placing seating away from food sources encourages guests to explore your space and keeps the conversation fresh with the natural to and fro between refills.  

This technique also allows you to play more freely with decor. Whether it be peonies and hydrangeas in rustic table top flower arrangements, mismatched serving vessels, or vintage ombre-silver glassware and art deco linens, distributing them around the home instantly expands the opportunity for creativity beyond a single tablescape and can allow you to highlight multiple pieces that might not otherwise look great together.

We even like to separate cocktails from bottled beverage choices and tend to put wine and beer outside when the weather permits. It draws people into our garden, providing an additional setting, and gives people a reason to linger outdoors.

Parmigiano Pancetta Bread Pudding with Broccoli Raab

The Execution:

Don’t: 
Do it all alone. You will get sucked into cleaning up spills and refreshing olive trays. You will ignore your guests and resent your co-hosts if you let the upkeep get the best of you. Remember, nobody likes a host stomping around with b*tch face.

Do:
Hire help ($100 on Craigslist will get a slew of willing responses) or designate a friend willing to assist and help spread the serving and maintenance duties - After all you need to enjoy yourself.

Bloody Mary Garnish Bar - Candied Bacon, Cornichon, Seaside Cheddar, and Old Bay Shrimp

-----

We may be only budding lifestyle authors, but our friends will attest we throw a brunch on par with the experts (just make sure they've had a few mojitos when you inquire). 

We hope you found our "Rules " helpful and perhaps a little more practical than from others more seasoned or broadly published in the field (side-eye to you Martha, Giada, Ina and Nate). 

No matter the scale nor the budget, a successful host is smart about planning and the guest list, makes intentional food, beverage, and decor choices, and always keeps in mind the ultimate goal, to have a good time!

As you might expect, we have an opinion on everything from etiquette to Étouffée. So if you have any questions or want more info, don't hesitate to ask - Chasing.Umami@gmail.com


The Menu in Detail


still to come....I'm barely recovered as it is...